Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Five Year Old Funnies

I don't know about y'all, but my five year olds say some FUNNY stuff :)  Since my friends all enjoy hearing it each day, I thought I would share it will you all as well.  Here is a collection of their "funnies" from last year and I plan to post a new collection each month because, let's be honest, everyone needs a little child-like humor in their lives :)  So here it is, straight out of the mouths of babes- you just can't make this stuff up !

"All old people have cracks in their faces that MIGHT make their lips fall off."

"I know that it is a boy peacock because he has pretty feathers so he can show off for the ladies."

"I would like a hamburger with no ham please."

"Calling someone a big fat lollipop is different than calling someone a big fat boob."

"The best part about Spring Break was seeing the waitress dance on the table."

"This is my penguin, his name is M.C. Hammer."

"Did you know that when baby black widows are born, they can eat your brains AND they are afraid of lizards?"

"Look Mrs. Cates, I am walking so carefully because I am carrying the Torah (aka a tower of unifix cubes)."

"If I had some water right now, I could show you how I can suck water up through my nostrils."

"I am never EVER eating at Chick-Fil-A again because they are mean to Mr. Tim and he is nice to our family."

"This is my new deodorant! Mom said I have to put it on my armpits every day so I will smell delicious."

"You know, the opposite of heaven is badder than a spanking."

After asking a student to explain their poor choice to me, he replied "I just really think my rememberer doesn't work that well."

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